A Health Coach with an eating disorder? Yeah, why not?

“A cobbler’s children have no shoes” - a well-known saying to illustrate the case of a nutritionist with an eating disorder. 

When I got diagnosed, or even before that - when I realized and admitted to myself that something is very wrong, I had this thought: man, isn’t it a bit too much of an irony for my brain to break in THIS spot?!

Turns out, illnesses are not really interested in one’s occupation. Like a surgeon can end up on an operation table with appendicitis, traumatologist can break a leg, or psychiatrist get depressed - a health coach may struggle with a behavioral condition.

I got dealt with binge eating disorder in late 2020. The load of COVID pandemic, extreme isolation topped by crazy wildfire smoke in Seattle that year provided enough of stress for my brain to crack. 

Suddenly I started losing control around food. Stuffing my face until it hurt to breathe. Eating without hunger. Hiding from my family to binge on junk food. All of it while having a feeling that my mind gets separated from my body in those moments and I am observing my hands putting another bite into my mouth and unable to stop them. 

I was scared. I felt disgusted with myself, embarrassed and guilty after every episode. But the worst part was clear understanding that I won’t be able to deal with this by myself. I needed help.

It’s been a little over 3 years since I got sick. I’m still in process, working on the disease to lose its power over me. I’m doing fine, although not perfect. But I do have support systems in place, and an understanding of what is going on.

This illness for me is definitely a curse. But also, as weird as it may sound, a blessing. Because as a coach I can now understand so much deeper what the people with behavioral conditions are going through. Now I know first-hand how it feels to loath oneself for a behavior and still engaging with it. 

I am a better coach now for sure. And a better person. Even though a bit chunkier :)

If you are struggling out there, please don’t wait to get help. Eating disorders are serious, often fatal conditions. If you see the signs of it in your loved ones - don’t ignore them, seek professional help. 

I’m here for you, people. I feel for you. You are not alone.

#CoachingConfessions  #EatingDisorder #BingeEatingDisorder #HumanSideOfWellEver