The jar of wins

Think about the last win you got.

Doesn't matter, if it's big or tiny, could be literally anything. From winning a lottery to getting your first workout in, from getting big promotion at work to finally managing to emotional coach your kid instead of losing it. You got it: any win counts.

So, how did that feel? I'm sure the exact words to describe that moment are different for each of you, but I'm also pretty confident that there was at least one thing in common for us all - it felt good.

Now, every time something happens in your favor, especially if you are the one who makes it happen, you get a win. And it does feel good. But most importantly, it makes you feel capable of winning.

Why does it matter?

Imagine you have a very special jar, where you keep all your wins. And every win in your lifetime goes there. So the next time you are facing a challenge you can look at this jar and get the much needed reassurance: look, how many times I have won already! I can totally do it again. I am capable of winning!

Also there is another jar - the one with losses. Something you did not achieve. Looking at this jar makes us feel weaker, unsure of our capabilities, to lose faith in ourselves.

An interesting thing about both jars is that it doesn't matter what kind of wins and losses are in there. They could be about work, parenting, school, sports, relationships, personal hobbies - anything. But regardless of the situation you are currently dealing with they can serve you as either support or discouragement. The more wins you have - the better you feel about your ability to deal with life.

We call it self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy is an individual's belief in his or her capacity to execute behaviors necessary to produce specific performance attainments (Bandura, 1977, 1986, 1997).

Having high level of self-efficacy gives us confidence and increases our chances to win again and again. To keep filling your Win Jar.

Small wins are imperative for long-term success in any field.

Let's say, you have an intimidatingly huge task at work, and your career depends on it. It doesn't matter if you work at a bank and your wins came from running races, explaining geometry to your kids or playing video games. All these will serve as the base for the core belief that you are capable of solving problems, of performing, of winning! So, again, ANY win counts. There's better be many of those at the time you need them. And this brings us to the next very important idea:

Any win starts with setting realistic goal.

I don't know how to emphasize it enough. Setting the goal that is challenging enough to be a goal, but so it's still possible to achieve is the key. So many people make a mistake of chasing unicorns and never getting a win in their jar 😢

Losing 40 pounds in 2 weeks is NOT realistic. Running a marathon without training is a suicide. Becoming a top-manager of a leading company straight out of college is... well, maybe possible, but depends hell lot on pure luck (or a lucky relative).

These "goals" only lead to disappointments and add to the Loss Jar, which is not helpful.

Divide and conquer!

Break your big dream into small steps. Make them your goals. Win them. And don't forget to celebrate each and every one!

To the full Jars of Wins!

Collect yours and stay tuned!