We Do Know How, but We Can’t Make You: The Unseen Struggle of Wellness Professionals

Continuing the topic of poor cobbler’s kids who are living barefoot. Being a wellness professional not only puts me in a position where I am expected to be flawless myself with all my personal stuff figured out. It also brings a lot of pressure surrounding my family.

“How comes your parent is obese and sedentary? You are a freaking coach - do something!”

“What do you mean your kid doesn’t like sports? Take them to the gym and teach them to move!”

Yeah, sure.

When I was just beginning my journey as a fitness pro, I had these illusions. That now, when I know what to do, I will go and inflict the goodness left and right. Turns out, humans have free will, regardless of their relationship to me. What a bummer.

What seemed to be a marvel turned out as a burden. Because you know, it hurts! Hurts to see your loved ones harming themselves with their own hands and you are just staying there, observing. And the understanding sinks in: there is nothing, NOTHING you can do unless they are willing to accept your help. And for whatever reason they have a total of ZERO interest in it.

Same with the clients. As a trainer I tried to help my people with their goals. Mostly weight management at the time. Quickly realized, working out is not enough for them to get where they want to get. Studied nutrition. Thought that will do. Still no bueno. People kept eating crap and skipping workouts. 

Now I know it’s SO normal. After taking three coaching courses, going through my own struggles and working with more people, I finally gained the most important skill.

Compassion. Empathy. 

I get it now. I know how the brain is sticking to the old ways and refuses to change. How the people abound you affect your daily choices. How hard it is to not grab a cookie when your partner is sitting there and stuffing their face with it. How is it to try exercising when your family doesn’t see a point in it. 

I can go on with this list of obstacles forever. We are all facing them every day. And everybody has the demons of their own, but surely we all have some.

Now I know how to be understanding and patient. And I am capable of not pushing my “wisdom” upon people any more. I’ve learned to be curious and not judgmental (thanks, Ted Lasso!) and view my people as a marvel, not burden. To accept their pace of change. To emphasize with their pains and struggles. To allow them to not want my help.

It still stinks though. Damn it :)

#CoachingConfessions #WellnessJourney #LifeOfACoach #HealthBeyondFitness #UnderstandingChange